Zigzagging on Deptford High Street
Guns have always been fascinating tools of destruction- I suspect since their creation they’ve offered the average Joe who cant fight for shit an almost superhuman quality…death at the pull of a trigger. Go to any School playground in the world and I will bet youll find some kid pointing an imaginary gun at his friend mock execution style-go online and youll even find girls posing with guns, in their underwear, oh and your more likely to find an item of clothing with a gun on it then a image of Christ. yep Guns have always been in Vogue and with each decade Western’s, The Godfather, Gangsta rap have been the scapegoats rather than the very simple reality! Now lets face it Guns Sell.. and even if you don’t have a licence or live in a state ,a boy I knew pulled it on me after I had allegedly mouthed off to him …granted it was just an air rifle but still…my friend Alban mouthed off to this guy “Your chickenshit ! you wont fire” and sure enough the kid didn’t, he just put it back in his bag- and had obviously wanted to pull it out to gain a reputation and look tough. Fast forward eleven years and Im walking down Deptford High Street with my friend Chris one early afternoon, Deptford high street is vile most days…Full of stalls selling rotten fish, bad meat, stolen mobile phones and hairdressers where your more likely to buy Crack than hair products (Yes If you were wondering) it stretches for yards beginning with an Anchor attached to a concrete circle where the drunks and winos hang out and often who are scattered among the street depending on how drunk they are, girls of 16 who will not move out of your way and will kiss their teeth at you if you don’t, and disappointed chinamen who have invested in restaurauts around the area who can be seen smoking their cigarettes in utter disbelief whilst staring at the ground. Twice a week stalls are set up selling electrical goods, mobiles , cheap clothes and tacky bedspreads and carpets with tigers on ,this isn’t kitsch good this is just bad taste in every way. And yet at night the Street resembles a lost new York city backstreet in the 30’s complete with neon signs outside bars and imagine hard enough and you can imagine Burroughs or Ginsberg sampling the urban delights of the past,the true tragedy being that this was the road that had the very pub that Christopher Marlowe came to meet his end with a knife to the eye. And yet Im both in love with the place and utterly loathe it at the same time, after all it was the place where I earned my stripes as a teenager looking for meaning out in the streets and much inspiration would follow entering my diaries and eventually lyrics for the first Skuzzies album. This Day however such romantic notions of writers and scholars had been totally excised from my mind for this was a day of vengeance. I was on the prowl for a guy who had sold me a ten pound rock (it was exactly that, a ten pound rock made of stone… not crack cocaine) and I was seething with furious anger utterly determined to catch this cretin. Usually I wouldn’t score from people I didn’t know in fact I was very lucky I had a steady supply of dealers a phone call away –but some reason that had defied logic made me curious (and stupid) so with my last ten pounds I sampled the finest granite money could buy throughout the land.After entering two betting shops I spied this rip off merchant walking towards me like a chubby Jamaican Clint Eastwood ,It was slightly unnerving as this certainly wasn’t the coward who had legged it the previous night before I opened the wrap!, no this guy was unusually calm and looked incredibly confident. “You ripped me off!” I yelled and began to advance towards him expecting his bravado to drop and for him to beg me for mercy, I noticed more people leaving the betting shop to watch this showdown along with Chris who had obviously sussed the inevitable . “I gave you what you asked me! “ replied the fat splodge “If I Wanted to stare at rocks off the ground I would studied archaeology!-you know what I meant and I want my money” , I ran straight up to him raised my fist and that’s when I noticed a bulge at the bottom of his tshirt. The cretin looked deadly serious as he grabbed underneath his t-shirt and slowly pulled out his gun….Its quite something to look into the eyes of someone who has NOTHING to lose…whose entire life has consisted of such occurences day in day out and to realise reason isn’t a word that can be applied in this kind of situation either!, “what you gonna do now?” he asked as he loaded a bullet into the chamber and again slowly raised the gun pointing it directly at me….and right then I did what 99 per cent of vain men would do in a situation like this ………..I ran……..and…as I ran I imagined that any minute I was going to hear a very loud bang, right then logic told me to lessen my chances of being shot I should run in a zig zag motion and that is exactly what I did… much to the delight of the rasta’s standing outside the outside the betting shop “eh mon, this is just like ghetto benny hill!” yelled one and laughter erupted as antoerh began to sing the theme tune.That was proabably the only time I had heard that laughter and genuinely felt happy….late that evening I saw chris and asked him why he hadn’t run in fear …”well he wasn’t pointing it at me” he replied…..
Paul, you're a genius!
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